Ass of Steel

The Ass of Steel, formerly Luminex, is a Canadian e-boy muggle, known for his boomer jokes, self-loathing, alter-egos, being and his peculiar, unironically homoerotic affection and sex tape threesome with the Rainbow and '''Justin Bieber. 'Born in the shadow of the glory of Walrism and the glorious political, social economic, and moral framework of Walrism, the Ass grew up relatively politically and socially enlightened, too much so to form his own worldview''. Upon meeting the Grape, Desk, and DJ Walri, he co-founded the Walri Clan in 2017, assisting the Sigma Male in spreading political, economic, social, and moral truths by making DANK memes on Instagram and Discord, before nonsensically enlisting the vile assistance of the infidel Raji Caphup and the degenerate Bowler Bear (who are both actually him) to rape all that he and our Head of Flubber had accomplished up Thanos' anus for no reason other than pathetic jealousy. Fortunately for mankind, Caphup and Bowler Bear were quickly dealt with. The Anus' betrayal of all the tenets of Walrism which is allowed since Walrists are permitted to have a free mind, sent the Grape running for Switzerland to continue being a neutral prick, and the Beast to commence Operation Uranus undercover in Russia, clearing the way for the otherwise paltry Desk to ascend to Chief InSigMin, and the closeted Chevy to rise to '''Subordinate InSigMin. The Ass has hitherto failed to fully suppress his secret love for Walrism, and frequently returns to the Party, before being driven away by the Seagull Army.'''

As of 2020, the Ass remains torn between his sex tape in Switzerland and his ties to the IWO, and could potentially serve as literal ammunition for either side. Fortunately, he is not a '''Conservathot. It is a Walrist priority that the Ass be protected from the sway of Lord Morgast and his plans for world destruction and Conservathot domination.'''