Church of Ralph

The Church of Ralph is more commonly referred to as The Church Of Ralph The Holy Head Of Lettuce, or The Beast's Cult.

The Beast inherited this most diabolical religion from their father, and is now the sole leader of this heinous organization. The Beast claims the Garden Of Ralph is the superior religion to all others known by mankind. This religion believes in the holy deity Ralph- who choses to take the form of a head of iceberg lettuce with a face on the bag.

While The Beast's father claims to have invented Ralph - his true origin seems to stem from an episode of an old sitcom named "What's Happening", further cementing this supposed "God" as a work of fiction, only believed by lunatics who think TikTok is a personality trait. Nonetheless, The Beast and their followers stand firm in their anti-Walrist opinions. The Beast, known only to their cult as "Head Gardener", was once a loyal member of our great organization - but fell into the snares of greed that led them to begin their own cult. As of now, their plan is unknown- though it is believed they intend to conquer the world and transform every living being into a clone of Hatsune Miku, possibly because The Beast is incredibly attracted to her.

One of the other deities of this religion is, in fact, Grape- who The Beast refers to as "Senpai UwU". Grape did not choose this role, but has yet to openly object to it.

The Beast commonly uses language such as "clod", "peasant", random 1930's slang, and "hewwo uwu". Such phrases should be considered a warning sign of budding Ralphism, and anyone displaying this behavior is to be considered as a GRAVE OFFENCE against our beliefs. The Beast and their followers are all very avid in their use of odd terms to avoid detection- and thus can be hard to spot. Beware of these clods at all costs.